Ideas for the Desperate

You and your spouse seem to be searching for something that is missing in your relationship. While you know that there aren’t huge issues that should be dealt with in therapy or counseling, you simply can’t put your finger on why things seem so dull and unexciting. Sometimes you even question whether or not you are both ‘in love’ anymore. You feel almost desperate and improving your situation seems hopeless. It’s not hopeless! You need a little help in how to begin appreciating each other again through small gestures and thoughtful intentions called romance.

To start, you should think about and know exactly when all of your special anniversaries are with your spouse. You should, of course, know your wedding day, but what about the first day you met each other? You should know and celebrate the first time you kissed, the first time you made love, your first major fight, your first date, your first home together, the first time one of you said, “I love you”, and even the day you believed you conceived your first child (and each consecutive child). Blow your spouse away when you begin to celebrate these special occasions in the life you share together.

If you think you’ve surprised your spouse by your sudden interest in celebrating your special moments together, you’ll no doubt have the urge to surprise your spouse over and over again in different ways. There are many different types of surprises you can plan in order to impress your spouse. There are surprise you can pull off only once in a lifetime, surprises that are so unexpected that they can only be called a total surprise, shocking surprises, surprises at work, funny surprises, big surprises and little surprises. There are expensive as well as inexpensive surprises, out-of-character surprises, private surprises, public surprises, group surprises and meaningful surprises.

In order to pull of great surprises, you really need to know your spouse and how he or she will react to certain situations. If he or she tends to be quite shy, private and shies away from being the center of attention, you might not want to plan a group surprise like a birthday party or propose to her all over again in the middle of a restaurant. Quiet or private dinners or walks on the beach are better places for these types of surprises. If you want to surprise your spouse at work, make sure that it is acceptable for whatever you plan to happen at his or her particular workplace. You don’t want the surprise to be his or her being reprimanded for an unacceptable event.

One of the most popular and well-received types of surprises is a sexy surprise. Sexy surprises often happen in the bedroom, but they can happen elsewhere as well. For example, if he takes you out to dinner you can wear very sexy lingerie underneath your clothes. Halfway through dinner, excuse yourself to go tot he ladies’ room and unbutton your blouse enough for him just be able to see that you are wearing something he’ll obviously want to see more of. Guys can buy a special pair of undergarments and pass her a note halfway through dinner asking her to guess what’s different about him- in his pants! Use your creativity and make sure that both of you are comfortable no matter what surprise you have in store.